7.25.2011

sometimes it's okay...

...to cry in the car on the way home.
because people i know get in accidents. because i see 2 firetrucks, & an ambulance at an apartment building, even if i don't know the people living there.  because i trust people too much.  because sometimes people don't trust me enough.  because i miss my best friend.  because the person i thought was a best friend wasn't acting like it. because people i love are moving away.  because people i love aren't moving away, they just cut me out of their life.  because sometimes i'm left out.  because sometimes i remember awful things from the past.  because the thing that makes me the most happy, people criticize me for it, constantly, & i don't understand why.  because i'm scared to move out, & be away from my family.  because i'm terrified to grow up.  because borders is going out of business.  because my stomach hurts a lot.  because people leave on missions.  because my feelings scare me.  because i miss dance, & having a partner.  because i imagine a perfect world in my head, & reality doesn't live up.

but sometimes it's not.  because i have a wonderful family.  because i have great people in my life who care for me.  because prayer works.  because i do have the best friend ever.  because i like making new friends.  because i have a wonderful job.  because i am going to college.  because life goes on.  because i have a home, & i am very well taken care of.  because i have friends who roast marshmallows for me, & make me laugh.  because i can listen to music.  because i can see art.  because art exists.  because i can sing, horribly, but i can.  because books at borders are on sale.  because i can read, & become completely enveloped in an alternate world.  because i love the people in my life.  because sometimes reality is perfect.  because i am alive, & tomorrow is a new day.

so i cry in the car.  put it in park, step out, & think of all the reasons i have to be happy; leaving the bad things tucked away in the car.  

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