this...

made my day.


Click Here

summer.

my summer ranged from June 3rd-26th, & August 10th-28th.  It began with graduation, & a boyfriend.  My first chunk of break consisted of relaxing, getting trained at work, an amazing trip to greece with my best friend, & making many more best friends.  June 27th-August 10th i was forced to attend BYU summer semester(thank you parents).  Those eight weeks were made up of studying, testing, dancing, reading, sitting in class, learning, loving, becoming friends, late nights with friends, sunday night bonfires, time with cousins, fireworks & match houses, singles ward, & some creepy older men.  Once finals were over i was extremely happy to have a 20 day break before fall semester started.  these final weeks of summer included lots of relaxing, dinners with families, many many long hours at work, too much shopping, a trip to vegas with the best people ever, lots of laughs, falling in love, tryouts, moving out, & becoming an adult.

Yesterday: the final day of summer.  It was perfect.  It started with the new singles ward, very fun, not very big though.  After, the roommates & I were super awkward & spied on boys through our window.  We gave a dead bouquet of balloons to a strangers, & asked another one to take our trash out.  We have entitled our apartment "the socially awkward, lazy, accident prone apartment."  It's completely fitting, if you hung around us for 30 minutes, you'd agree.  Well to be honest, knowing me is enough explanation for that title.  Around five it was time for family dinner to celebrate the reunion of mine and Emma's days of birth.  Best part of dinner was watching Emma get her phone, she was so excited!  After Alan & I headed to the last bonfire at Leesha's.  Lots of people, yummy food, and fun.  The ending of the night involved long talks, good boyfriends, lots of rain, sprinklers, getting absolutely soaked, taking care of a chicken, i love you's, & kisses.

The most perfect ending for the most perfect summer.

cinnamon rolls.

for as long as i can remember i have had cinnamon rolls for breakfast every sunday.

being on my own in my apartment, not having cinnamon rolls i didn't know how that tradition was going to continue.  i figured one sunday wouldn't hurt, and never said anything.

tonight Alan showed up at my apartment with cinnamon rolls for me.  best boyfriend ever?? 

yes, it's a fact.

it's the little things that count.

my birthday.

so... i have been sitting at my computer for 1/2 an hour trying to relate all the stories of my birthday.  but nothing i wrote ever was able to encompass the absolute perfect nature of today.  so due to the lack of words to describe this simply flawless day, i'll just tell you it was

indescribably wonderful.

thank to all those who made my day so special for me, and to the few who went the extra mile to make sure my day was amazing, i love you. 

18.

YAY BIRTHDAY!!

thoughts.

so i don't really have anything specific to blog about... so here are some of the thoughts that have been on my mind.

my birthday is tomorrow! 18, i am so excited.

i also move out tomorrow. it hasn't really hit me yet that i am legitimately moving out.  my mom and dad are stressing, i am completely calm.  i doubt that feeling stays, i get homesick very easily, and suffer slightly from separation anxiety.  i am very nervous about my roommates.  what if they don't like me? what if i don't like them? what if they are creeps?  my mom says i'll be fine... but i know, i obviously won't.  with my luck, something will go wrong.  i am scared to cook for myself.  to have to wake up myself, and prioritize my own time.  i am worried about classes, and figuring out my work schedule.  i am stressed about a new ward, and trying to make new friends.

work was nice today.  cleaned lots, and got off early due to the slow nature of shoppers today.  two friends came in and visited me, unexpectedly, it was nice.

downeast is basically the best.  this is why.

my little siblings are growing up too fast.  ben started high school, emma started junior high.  emma came into my room this morning asking me to straighten her hair.  she looked about 14, not okay.  they are all so precious, and i hate to have to think they are getting older.  they are moving on to bigger things in their lives, just as i am.  i remember how fun high school, and junior high was.  but i also remember the fights, the drama, and the feeling of hopelessness.  it kills me to think they have to go through that.  i just hope that when they need me, they don't hesitate to call me.  i hate that i won't be living at home to ask them about how their days went.  i don't want to grow up.

drama is pointless.  i am not going to respond to it, especially when i know the answers to the questions i'm being asked are going to upset people.  why bother? it makes life so much easier.

i should probably clean my room.  and maybe pack a little bit.  it's convenient that i live ten minutes away from where i'm moving.  but tomorrow would be a lot easier if my room wasn't a sty, and i had somethings ready, right?

10 hours till i'm 18!:)

do you remember...

that one time we took a road trip to Vegas? 8 people crammed in the car with only the front AC working?  stopping in Cedar City & Ty losing his iPod?  Racking up points in our game?  9 adults & 1 child(barely), staying in only 2 hotel rooms?  Standard competitors, Latin competitors, Last minute competitors, 3 trophies, lots of hard work, loads of fun? Helping with hair and make up?  Someone sneaking into the comp because Kyle needs his eye drops?  Fish egg type balls in the bowls on the tables?  Crazy hair, last nights make up, & pjs to breakfast?  Really, really good hotel breakfast, even if Leesh did get burned by hot chocolate, & Alan knocked my toast on the floor once?  All of us commanding the dining room, pulling all the tables together & taking all the chairs?  Swimming, at 3:00 in the morning? The random TVs that turned on automatically early in the morning?   H&M?  Anti-rape jackets?  Walmart with Bradley & Ty, then getting lost... twice?  Sharing clothes because hey, that's what girls are for?  Watching a segment of a new reality TV series & answering questions about it to get paid? But then using another name, in which the check we received was made out to?  Taking pictures by all the pillars?  Playing the Tyler game & Karoline game?  Nanette and Bradley swimming in the Bellagio fountain?  6 & 1/2 hours of "Netflix" while the oldies went clubbing?  Attempting to watch When a Stranger Calls, Mr. Bean's Holiday, Hey Arnold, Wizards of Waverly Place, Food Boy, Silent Library, but kept getting distracted?  But being completely okay with it?  Taking lovely naps at 1 in the morning while it is quiet for awhile before everyone gets back to go swimming? More late night hot tubbing and swimming?  Rude Rick?  Very cute casts?  Roller coasters, Lions, & Arcade games?  Nicknames:  Uncle Johnny, Witch, Muffin, Cocoa Bean, Kylie, Tamale, Leesh?  The other car leaving early so they would get home sooner... but we beat them home?  Sitting in the front while Alan drove home, Hello AC? Trying to keep myself entertained? Deal or No Deal until the iPod died, reading my art book and fiction book to Alan? Stuffing 11 Hot Tamales in Kyle's mouth while he was sleeping? How angry he was when he woke up, and how funny Leesh thought it was?  Making it home finally?  Remember that grand time we had in Vegas?

 I sure do :)

slump.

i'm in a slump, a friend slump.
1:  i have one best friend that i never see, and never really do anything with.
2: i had one best friend. but we haven't talked in over a month. i know i was the one who made that decision at first.  but now i really do miss her.  but i'm afraid she won't like how i've changed. and i know she doesn't like who i spend my time with these days.
3:  i had a group of friends who i did everything with one time.  but now it feels like i'm only their friend if it's convinient for them.  what great friends.
4:  i have two best friends.  unfortunately they happen to be living four hours away now.

hopefully i can get out of this slump soon...

it's crazy...

that you can go to 3 years of junior high, & 3 years of high school with someone and then when you see them at the mall... 

they completely ignore you.

favorite songs.

music saves my life.  it allows me to tune out the world, & all the stress that come with reality.
my top five songs right now are as follows:

number one


number two


number three


number four


number five

okay, just had to add this one cause i think it's funny, but i like it.

 number six

& there it is. some of the videos are weird... don't watch them, just soak in the music.

(however, number two & number four are good videos.)

thunder, thunder go away.

the thunder is quite terrifying.

i brought my dog to keep me safe from the thunder.

however, she is more scared than i am!

thankfully i am not stuck at someone else's house babysitting their kids!

Good luck getting through the night Beck.

dear glee boys...

can i please join your club?

what a day.

my day started with sitting in the hospital due to the awful burns on my arm.  the six blisters are 1/2 an inch off my arm, yellowy, & gross.  i have to keep it wrapped for a month, it's okay though, i get pink coban, or from my training at downeast, technically the color would be rose of sharon.  Man, downeast never fails to entertain me with their outrageous clothing & color names. because of the long wait at the hospital, i was late to work, but that's okay, i worked an 8 hour shift anyway... i was on register all day, & sara told me i am really good with customers, so it wasn't bad at all.  so, being it kalin's last day up here, we went to an owlz baseball game.  it was bittersweet.  the game was fun, & ice cream after, (of course, cause i saw chance, man how i love that kid!)  three of my best friends are moving away, & i'm not okay with it.  we don't hang out everyday, but i can call them my brothers.  we are the best friends that i tell them everything big in my life.  best friends that i'd sit by their hospital beds if anything ever happened to them.  best friends that know all the quirks we have, & love each other anyway.  best friends that are at the top of the list to be at my wedding.  best friends that i can tell anything to.  best friends that we can be so rude, & do horrible things, but we forgive each other anyway.  best friends that have so many memories anything reminds me of them.  best friends that have countless inside jokes, memories of sneaking out, parties, & staying up late laughing our guts out.  best friends that can get so infuriated with each other, & get over it in a minute.  best friends that are straight with each other, & tell the truth.  best friends that when they leave, i will cry.  but it's not goodbye, hopefully only a see you later... growing up kinda sucks sometimes!

Brandon, Kalin, Jake... I'm really gonna miss you!

*picture from Sadies 2009, they leave tomorrow, & i still haven't figured out the answer to that question.

burns.

yesterday while slumming on facebook, i left my arm under my computer, it resulted in a little burn, & blister.

tonight, i fell asleep with my arm under the computer...

lots of pain, two burns, & six blisters later, i have finally learned a valuable lesson:

              DO NOT fall asleep with your arm underneath a hot computer.

it hurts:(

finals...

...are over.

              first semester of college, done.
              two week break, yes please.

fantasy.

hi my name is karoline, and i am a bookaholic.  okay, they probably don't have a support group for people addicted to reading, because reading is actually beneficial.  i love to read.  i am a huge book nerd.  i have spent countless hours at borders reading their books.  last week when i was upset, instead of binging on food, i binged on books.  (i purchased four.)  reading helps me get away from the problems i have, and get enveloped in the adventures of the characters in my book.  Things always end right in my books.  the problems always resolve themselves, and things end up better than they were before.  the world is perfect in books.  there is a nasty downside to how much i read though.  i get caught up in fantasizing about how my life should play out, wishing i lived in a book, where things all turned out how i wanted.  i spend so much time conjuring up the perfect scenarios for my life, that when reality hits me, i fall hard.  i have to admit i was devastated the day of my eleventh birthday when i did actually go check the mail for my hogwarts letter.  i was absolutely convinced wizardry was real, and i would receive a letter.  i get frustrated when i don't have the best friend who i have known since elementary who is always there for me, and understands me completely.  the one person who i can tell my deepest secrets i have kept bottled up and she will help me take care of them.  i wish for a guy from the pages of a romance novel.  one who senses when i am upset, show up unexpectedly with flowers, who won't let up until i inform him what is wrong, and holds me while i cry, telling me i am beautiful even when i cry, and assuring me things will be okay.  one who whisks me off on spontaneous adventures, and nothing ever goes wrong.  i'm sad when my summer doesn't consist of laying out on the beach all day, and spending nights dancing at exclusive clubs with my friends.  however, recently i have come to a realization.  truthfully, if life was like a book, and everything was as we wanted how would we grow, and become stronger?  when i take time to actually think about it, i wouldn't want my life to be so mundane that it works itself out.  there is no greater feeling than coming out of a trial alive, and knowing you have just done something that once seemed impossible.  where would the excitement be in having a perfect guy, perfect friends, with a perfect life?  it all sounds so boring now that i think more about it.  i love my life.  i was absolutely thrilled when i received my school acceptance letter to BYU.  i do have best friends.  we may not be tied at the hip like in books, but that's what is going to happen as we grow up.  we each have different jobs, and attend different schools, but when we get together, it's like we never missed a beat.  my boyfriend is absolutely, completely wonderful.  he isn't perfect, but he is a lot closer than i am.  he takes care of me when i am sick, he helps me with my problems, and takes me on the best adventures you can have in the quaint town of provo, for which i am very thankful.  my summer didn't consist of pool side tanning, and club visits, it was so much better.  i will continue to read, and get lost in the world on pages.  at times i will still wish things had turned out different.  but most of the time i will be grateful for the opportunity to grow, that's what we are here for.  

finals.

finals. stands for freak i never actually learned this stuff. [that's the edited version:)] my finals are Wednesday. i am not worried. i am not stressed. i have no desire to study, nor do i feel the need to.  to say i care about my grade would be pushing it a little bit.  fall semester starts in 22 days.  my mind set is no where near ready for more classes.  i'm hoping by time 22 days are up, something will have changed within me.  but even my feeble hoping shows how much the will to care escapes me.  for now i will still hope.  

10, 9, 8...

ten how's

how did you get one of your scars?

left leg, right by my bum.  fighting over the front seat of Ry's car with Alan.

how did you celebrate your last birthday?

shopping with Kalin, & a surprise part at classic with my dance team.

how are you feeling at this moment?

very, very happy:)

How did your night go last night?

quite wonderfully actually.

How did you do in high school?

wonderful, i made it out alive with my diploma.

How did you get the shirt you are wearing?

i am pretty sure i borrowed it from a friend who then disappeared of the face of the planet, so i have claimed it.

how often do you see your best friend?

define best friend...

How must money did you spend last month?

well... 540 euro(that's about $700) for sure, & probably more.

How old do you want to be when you get married?

i don't have a specific age, i just want to be ready.

how old will you be on your next birthday?

eighteen! 19 days!:)

nine what's:

what's your mother's name?

Michele Karoline

What did you do last weekend?

worked lots and lots.  

what would you rather be doing?

competing.  i miss it a lot.

what did you last cry over?

it was kind of a mixture of things... upset stomach, awful head ache, dance drama, upset boyfriend.  

what always makes you feel better when you're upset?

crying, sleeping, and just dancing.

what's the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

brings out the best in me, and makes me want to be a better person.

what are you worried about?

freshman year of college & moving out.

what did you have for breakfast?

a breakfast burrito.

eight have you's:

have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

not really, i may have thought they were cute though?

have you ever had your heart broken?

yes.  it's atrocious.

have you ever been out of the country?

why yes, I love to travel.  Mexico, Bahamas, France, Austria, Germany, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, Greece, and Turkey!!

have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

of course i have, let's be real.

have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?

hmm, yes.

have you ever dated someone younger than you?

well, for two days.  just because my best friend wanted to date his best friend, and i had to date the kid so the other guy would ask my friend out.  junior high stuff, i don't really count it.

have you ever read an entire book in one day?

 yes, sometimes i just get so lost in the world of the book.

seven who's:

who was the last friend you saw?

well, Alan.  but he is kind of a different category.  so lisa and stef, my work friends!

who as the last person you texted?

i'll give you one guess.

who was the last person you hung out with?

Alan of course!

who was the last person to call you?

the last call i picked up was Alan.  but i missed a call from an unknown number.

who did you last hug?

Alan Barney.

who is the last person who texted you?

once again, Alan.

Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?

my sister emma.

six where's:

where does your best friend live?

either down the street, or up it.  i have a few of them.  but most possibly in provo, south of the RB:)

where did you go last?

to work.

where did you last hang out?

my house.

where do you go to school?

Brigham Young University, go cougars!

where is your favorite place to be?

my bed cave.

where did you sleep last night?

in my bed cave.

five do's/does:

do you like someone right now?

yes, quite a lot actually.

do you think anyone likes you?

well, i think my boyfriend likes me, but who knows.  i am suspicious about a draper girlfriend he might have, we shall see. ;)

do you ever with you were someone else?

occasionally i do.

do you know where you'll be in three years?

yes, i will be living large, in Spain while i work as a museum curator in the Bilbao Guggenhiem museum... yeah right, heavens no, i have no clue.

does the future scare you?

yes, it is a major cause of my worrying.

four why's:

why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?

because we get along so perfectly, and we just get each other.

why did you get a Facebook?

because it was the 'cool' thing to do.

why did your parents give you the name you have?

they named me after my great, great, great grandmother, Karolina Wavrata.

Why are you doing this survey?

I told Alan I would blog, and I didn't really have anything too exciting to blog about.

three if's:

if you could have on super power what would it be?

mind reading or invisibility... oh wait, the ability to read minds, while i am invisible, yeah that one.

if you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

sometimes i wish i could, but then if i did, i wouldn't have everything i have now.

if you were stranded on a deserted island & could only bring one ting, what would you bring?

Costco.

two would-you-ever's:

would you ever get back together with any of your ex's if they asked you?

i love 'em all, but it didn't work the first time...

would you ever move to run away from a problem?

depends on the extremity of the problem.

one last question:

are you happy with your life right now?

most days, yes i love my life.