it just gets stranger.

please visit itjustgetstranger.blogspot.com  I would imagine that you would be just as entertained by the posts as i am.  This man is hilarious.

Another hilarious thing from today:  the lunch I had with Laura Baker, Cathy Cook, & Justin Hemsley.  We got on the subject of my scylla costume.  I searched all over the internet trying to find a picture of it, but couldn't.  You really just gotta see it in person. But i will try to provide an accurate description.  It is a spandex jump suit.  It is metallic yellow & red with a scale pattern all over.  As you zip up the back there is a nice hood that you have to put on.  On top of this hood is a triceratops size lizard head type thing.  It's fabulous.  But we were all doubled over laughing at all the ways we could think of to scare people while wearing this.  It was fantastic.

hilarious thing three:  skype with my best friends.  There is nothing like skyping with Brandon & Kalin to cheer me up.  I miss those two.  We had great talks about the old times & what the new times are going to be.  They were even so nice as to rate my outfit... such boys.  I met their nice roommate parker.  He wears glasses.  Brandon tried to teach me how to lift one eyebrow at a time. I just looked like a retard.  I tried to teach Brandon how to touch his nose with his tongue.  He didn't succeed.  I told them lots of stories.  They said i am not the same girl they left here, i feel like that is a good thing.  We shared lots of music, & then said goodbye.

Good news time!

1. I am really liking numbered & bulleted lists lately.
2. Roommates & I dyed more hair tonight.
3. Doing that kept us from doing something that would have put us at risk for arrestment. (i don't think that is a word, but imma use it anyway)
4. Today, i gained a whole new meaning for the phrase 'hump day'. but nothing dirty don't worry.
5. today i have been good.  
6. Mind over matter.
7. I had a lesson with holly, then hopped right over to michael. Goodness i love to dance.
8. Melanie & I bought our tickets for Sherlock Holmes 2!!
9. My best friend is in love & has found the person she wants to marry. 
10. I have already dibbsed planning the wedding.

bad news: i have two finals tomorrow, the first starting at 7.  & i am feeling like I won't be taking my religion one until friday... i am conflicted.

I am going to bed now!

glee.

so because there is a special sort of comfort that comes from being with one's family, i am spending the night at my parents house once again.  I had the chance to watch the new glee from tonight.

it's just my luck that it was all about christmas with the one you love, & star wars.

i already know this christmas will be Blue & Green, not in good ways.  It will be filled with broken promises, wasted gifts, & plans that won't be carried out.  But to have star wars thrown in there... just not what i needed.

Thank goodness for three amazing friends who made all the difference today.

• Laura Baker:  for coming to our Ballroom final, & the first thing she did was hug me tight, ask me how i am doing, & tell me we need to go to lunch soon.
• Robyn Omer:  for planning our boyfriend bonfire, talks with mom, & shananigans for this weekend.
• Kalin Ashby:  for being ever so sweet, & checking up on me right when i needed it most.  Some people just know me so well.

i miss my glee.

I miss glee.  a lot.  I haven't seen last weeks, & i will be missing tonights.  I opted for living the episodes through the youtube videos of the performances... sigh.

the gratitude challenge.

Write 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.

1. The ability to dance
2. The ability to cry
3. The ability to walk
4. The ability to live
5. The ability to cook
6. The ability to read
7. The ability to think
8. The ability to talk
9. The ability to hear
10. The ability to see

Write 10 material possessions you are grateful for.

1. My scriptures
2. My jewelry
3. My computer
4. My apartment
5. My car
6. My clothes
7. My food
8. My bed
9. My dance shoes, costumes, & make up
10. My journal

Write 10 living people you are grateful for.

1. Alan Barney
2. Michele Sorensen
3. Brad Sorensen
4. Bonnie Sorensen
5. Peggy Naverette
6. Kelli Ricks
7. Nate Alder
8. Brandon Hoefer
9. President Monson
10. J.K. Rowling

Write 10 deceased people you are grateful for.

1. Jesus Christ
2. President Hinckley
3. Uncle Chilli Dog
4. Grandy
5. Gramps
6. Grandpa Acomb
7. Joseph Smith
8. Michael Jackson
9. Ginger Rogers
10. Fred Astaire

Write 10 things about nature you are grateful for.

1. Clouds
2. Rain
3. Thunder
4. Flowers
5. The smell after it rains
6. Snow falling
7. Rainbows
8. The moon
9. The stars
10. The sun

Write 10 things about today you are grateful for.

1. My parents
2. My two grandmothers
3. My roommates
4. My best friends
5. Not having school
6. Glee
7. Delicious Mexican food
8. Feeling comfort from the Lord
9. Learning lots of new lessons
10. My fhe group

Write 10 places on earth you are grateful for.

1. My home
2. My apartment
3. Church buildings
4. The temple
5. My relatives' homes
6. The Barney home
7. BYU campus
8. Spain
9. Poland
10. France

Write 10 modern inventions you are grateful for.

1. Cell phones
2. The internet
3. Computers
4. Microwaves
5. Electricity
6. Indoor plumbing
7. Blenders
8. DVDs
9. Heating systems
10. Cars

Write 10 foods you are grateful for.

1. Bajio burrito platters
2. Smoothies
3. Raspberries
4. Oranges
5. Chicken 
6. Bagels
7. Muffins
8. Rice
9. Pasta
10. Salad

Write 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.

1. The Spirit
2. Prayer
3. The atonement
4. My testimony
5. The scriptures
6. The prophet
7. The always available comfort
8. My Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ who love me
9. The strength & happiness that comes from knowing that
10. Countless blessings

That is 100 things i am grateful for & it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.  Try it, it really puts in perspective, how blessed we truly are.

count your many blessings.

"Humans have an infinite capacity to take things for granted." I do not want to be numbered among those people.
My many blessings of today:
Finally cleaning my room.
The sweet comforting note i found on my bed from my lovely roommate Kelli.
the cold shower i took, & the fact that no roommates bothered me while i just sat with cold water running over me, letting everything go.
The text from my mom wishing me well today.
The call from my grandma asking how i am doing, & wondering if i need her to comfort me while i cried.
My best friend nate coming over, telling me all the things i am feeling are justified, watching glee with me, & buying me dinner.
hearing words of comfort from Brandon Hoefer.
The fact that Alan & I had somewhat of a conversation today.  It may have not been very happy, & I may still be waiting for him to respond to the text i sent at 11 am, but it's a start.
The awesome realizations i have come to today.
The text from my dad asking me how my day has been.
A certain blog filled with quotes that seemed to fit my life perfectly right now.
Not having school today.
The fortune i got that promised an opportunity next monday.
The lesson i learned about writing my feelings down on paper, not the internet.
Motivational quotes.
All the crying i have done. (yeah it's a blessing because It proves how much Alan meant to me, & that I had something really great for a while.)
My awesome fhe group, who come up with activities like deep breathing exercises.
Painting my nails.
The blog i found with so many great articles. (one of which being the 8 phases of break ups.  but i keep circulating through the first 7 i don't really know what to expect next.)
Smoothies made by the domestic goddess that lives downstairs.
This month's ensign, & the gratitude challenge on pg 6.

My emotions have been on such a roller coaster today, i just want it to stop.  I have an awful sick to my stomach feeling that I just can't shake.  The slightest things make me cry.  When anyone asks how i am doing, it takes all my will not to burst into tears.  When left alone to think, I think of everything i am going to miss, & all the memories.  Everything somehow reminds me of Alan. I feel as if my heart is ripped in two.  I feel tired, tired of crying, & of feeling like this, unfortunately it hasn't even been 24 hours since the break up occurred.  I don't want my days to continue like this.  I just want things to go back to normal, but that won't happen.  So i opt for hoping things will get better.  I know they will, but i hate to think of the journey that will lead to that.  I need someone to help me through this, but the person I am closest to can't be that person for me right now.  I hate being alone.  I don't want to have to go to bed because my mind starts wandering, & i start crying.  I need people around me, but finals are this week, & that's most important.  so i will ask the lord for comfort, & for alan to be comforted as well, also for everyone to do well on their multiple finals.  But not before thanking him for my many blessings.  I know that the Lord is always there to comfort us in our time of need, when everything else feels like it's caving in, the lord will be a rock to help keep us steady.

Post Script.
I just want to say that whatever anyone is thinking about the recent posts i have made, probably isn't true.  What happened wasn't my fault, & it wasn't Alan's fault.  Something happened, & we both got terribly hurt.  He is doing what is best for himself, & trying to take care of his own feelings.  It may not be what I wanted, & it may not be the way I think a relationship should function, but this is how it is.  I hope to remain friends with Alan.  He has done so much for me, no one can begin to comprehend. Things will be hard, & we both must do some forgiving, but in the end i know it will be worth it.  I hope he feels the same way, & that we can continue to fulfill our list of plans, as best friends.  I don't want our relationship to go to a complete waste, just because we aren't dating anymore.  He knows me better than anyone, & we get a long so well, i'd hate to see a friendship like that be given up on.  The best things in life are worth fighting for, so i will fight for that. 

sick tight.

85 years ago.

on a day like today, Claude Monet died.
"Claude Monet (14 November 1840 – 5 December 1926) was a founder of French impressionist painting, and the most consistent and prolific practitioner of the movement's philosophy of expressing one's perceptions before nature, especially as applied to plein-air landscape painting. The term Impressionism is derived from the title of his painting Impression, Sunrise."

one highlight of my trip to France was visiting Musée d'Orsay & seeing Monet's water lilies collection. 

It was absolutely breathtaking.  Monet requested that his paintings not be put in a museum, unless it was lit by natural light.  So his paintings sat & waited for the museum to be constructed.  The museum is spectacular.  Depending on what time of day, the paintings seem different.  I could have spent an entire 24 hrs. just sitting admiring the paintings.  

i love monet's style.  he is at the top of my list of favorite artists.